I’m not going to lie. This past week I’ve felt so discombobulated. (Such a good word!).
My laptop broke over three weeks ago now and I only just got it back late yesterday (and there’s a couple of kinks to still iron out).
I’ve mostly had access to my partner’s laptop (which I’m super grateful for) however it’s still felt a little like someone has come and scrambled up my routine.
Mostly I’ve been fine, great even.
I’ve been cool, calm and collected with every single twist and turn – including parts working then not working, my partner’s laptop also then breaking, and plenty of other mini delays that stacked up start causing tension and headaches.
I know not having a working laptop is not really what it’s all about. And I can logic my way out of it and even reason that some things are just out of my control – but the feelings remain. I’ve felt discombobulated.
At the same time, I’ve had some really incredible things going on. For one, my bestie is visiting right now from Australia. Flying all this way to hang out with me and join me for my morning coffees, strolls around my favourite streets in London and meditation classes. She’s even been game enough to join me for my first ever Soul Cycle class (soooo good!!).
So, all in all, there’s plenty to be grateful for. Plenty to be joyful about. Plenty to seemingly be able to wash this discombobulation away.
But, as I said. I’m not going to lie to you. The feeling has still been there.
I’ve had some days where I’ve shaken it off really well and not let it get to me. And others, where, well, let’s just say there have been tears.
I could tell myself a story that says “What kind of a fake do you think you are? Trying to run an online business without being able to get online? How do you expect to grow a business and help people if you can’t even figure this small stuff out?”.
I could buy into all the noises in my head telling me to feel angry and frustrated and annoyed at the computer repair company.
But I’m just not sure either of those stories are really going to make the discombobulation go away.
What I do know is the days where I focus on and can tell myself the story that “This too shall pass.”
This is simply a bump in the road. You can only control what’s within your control.
Let it go. Smile. Be kind, be gentle with yourself and keep going. You’re doing great.”, those are the days that I feel myself again. I feel calm. Grounded. Joyful. Grateful.
They’re the days that I know deep down inside that letting some computer issues get to me isn’t going to get me anywhere. And, more than that, they’re the days I also genuinely get that this seemingly frustration moments in our lives are here to teach us something much bigger than we could possibly imagine.
While I know I’ve handled the stress way better than I ever would have before. I also know I have more growing to do. More learning. More flexing of my cool, calm and collected muscle to do.
What I tell myself inside my own head is a choice I make every single minute of every day. And, it’s a choice you make too.
We can choose to tell ourselves a dialogue that contributes to making us feel more stressed and out of control, or, we could choose a story that is more gentle, calm, and soothing. One that – whilst still tough at times – helps us to see the light. Helps us to keep moving forward.
On the surface, it might just sound like some newer, kinder words you choose for yourself. But deep down those words matter more than you know right now. Those words have an emotional resonance for you, that even if subtle at first, start sending waves around your experience of your life.
Next time you’re feeling a little (or a lot) discombobulated – why not pause to ask yourself what story you could tell yourself instead?